Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen, this is The Alchemist.

This is an introduction to a new series which will take off next week. It is a story centered around an upper class family living in Abuja, their secrets, an unsolved mystery and all the interesting and fascinating people that populate their charmed lives. Focused on the themes of family, secrets, love, marriage, pride, sex and money; it is written by the very talented team of Coco – @CeceNoStockings and  Uche – @Afreaque_  .

So, with that, TNC presents:






“That’s great news, Mosun.”

“It is! I mean, there are still a lot of questions I want answered, but at least they have him now, right?”

“Right. I’m actually on my way to see your husband now about that issue we discussed. We’ll talk more about this tomorrow, okay?”

“Alright darling; Let me sort out a few more things.”

“I love you, Mosun.”

Her heart pounded so loudly and rapidly against her chest, she was worried the man standing not too far down the aisle could hear it. Amazing how those words, coming from the right person, could still do that.


“It’s just you tonight. Let me pleasure you.” He murmured as he released my legs and took off my underwear. Dudeeeeeeee, my eyes rolled back when I felt the heat of his tongue and mouth. I burned volcano-hot when he sucked and put my pillow on my face to muffle my moans. He’d definitely gotten better since the last time we tried head.

But something was off. Both his hands were on my tummy and it felt like he wanted to push the baby out of me. I felt something tube-like shoved into my vagina. And I felt his tears.  I jolted upright and pulled my gown up and I looked at him. There was something, I can quite place, in his eyes. Kinda like a mix of fear, anger and something dreadfully cold.


“Ugh!” Chidera pushed his laptop away from him and slammed his palm down on the wooden desk. Trying to log in to Sola’s blog was proving a daunting task. He knew Sola changed the password frequently, but he’d hoped she hadn’t gotten a chance to since. His main priority was to log in, find the post she’d told him was scheduled and delete it before it went up. There wasn’t much time left and he’d exhausted all possible passwords he could think of. He sighed, ran his fingers through his bushy hair, and immediately sighed again as he remembered how Sola used to love doing that. Someone could have been poking his heart with a needle at that point. He made a mental note to get a haircut.

“Chidera!!!!” His mother called up at him. “Inspector Nuhu is here to see you!!”

That one again…  Reluctantly, Chidera lifted himself from his study table, made his way downstairs and shook hands with the inspector. “Good afternoon, inspector.”

“Hello, Chidera.” Nuhu smiled “Hope all is well?”

“Yeah.” He gestured to the sitting room and they both went in.

Once seated, Nuhu began “I’m here about Sola….”


“I’m pregnant.”

Her statement hit the Chief like a blow to the head. For a moment he just sat there staring at her, unable to form proper words. “Did you hear me?” She was intent on not taking any nonsense this afternoon.

Chief Odukoya shook his head and managed to speak “How? For who?!”

“Does it matter?”

“Well, no.” Chief rubbed his head “You need money to get rid of it?”

Nwando laughed. “Get rid of what? At all, oh! I’m keeping this baby.”

The chief was really shocked this time “For who?”

Nwando chuckled “Look, Chief. I actually like you. So, let me break it to you. I know about all your other girls. The lavish parties, expensive trips, elaborate presents.” She paused to watch the new information register with the Chief

“You have been treating them like special girls and using me to do mumu here, paying me small change when it’s this my pussy that you always call upon when the konji is really doing you.”

“So, here’s what is going to happen. You will open that your briefcase you take everywhere with you and give me forty thousand dollars. And then we will drive to the bank and you will withdraw another 15 million naira and deposit in my account.”

“Nwando…” The Chief’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Have you gone mad?”

“On the contrary, Chief, I’m actually thinking straight for the first time now. Personally, I don’t think I’m asking for much. After all, how much did it cost to throw Adaobi a party on a yacht in London and have Iyanya come and perform? If you don’t do what I’m asking, Chief I will send all my text messages to Linda Ikeji then go downstairs right now and let everyone know what type of man you are. And you know me I like drama. I’ll even go downstairs naked and tell them you tried to use me for rituals.” With that, she made like she was getting down from the bed.

“Wait.” The Chief sighed. He stared hard at Nwando. Indeed, he knew how much she liked drama; in fact, he’d suspected for a while that she was mentally unstable. And he knew she was more than capable of following through on her threats. With all that was going on already, he knew he needed to contain the situation.

“OK. Get dressed”


FemmeFaçade’s Blog

My Den of Secrets  



Posted by FemmeFaçade in My Life on July 27, 2012

My family is a joke. I swear. I wish I could write more on this blog but I guess it’s not yet time. I think I’m going to do a tell-all post soon. Graduation day is as good a day as any to let all my secrets out. Besides, I will start showing in a few months so the secrets are already on their way out.

Oh, I didn’t tell you guys I found out I’m pregnant three days ago. Well I am and mummy will kill me. He will too actually. Fuck! My life is a clusterfuck. I swear even Jesus would need to soak my life in detergent and bleach for a few days before he started trying to wash it.



Inspector Mustapha Nuhu sat on one of the cushioned chairs in the office, staring at the spines of the numerous self-help and improvement books that lined the mahogany shelves. He’d attended government schools, growing up; and had to walk by fancy places like this one, every weekday, on his way to school. Sometimes, he’d linger across the street and watch them pile in, being dropped off in fancy cars, laughing and high-fiving each other, longing so desperately to be one of them. Unfortunately, they came as just one part of a lifestyle that was well above his family’s means and he’d worked extra hard to put himself through university. He’d always secretly resented those rich kids he saw gallivanting around campus, not bothering to read or obey campus rules because they deemed themselves above all the rest.

In more ways than one, his career path had opened his eyes and shown him that there was more than plenty to be thankful for where his upbringing was concerned. The rich had problems that even all their money couldn’t solve. Why else would he be here, in a plush, exquisitely designed room dedicated to helping people with problems, interrogating people about a crime?


A knock on the door dragged her out of her thoughts. Running her hands over the front of her dress one last time, she picked up a brush from the vanity table and pretended to be busy working on her hair.  “Come in.” she called over her shoulder.

The door opened just a crack and Bisola, her elder sister, stuck her head into the room

“How many years will you take to get ready? Everyone is waiting for you downstairs.”

Consumed in her own thoughts, Sola had completely lost track of the time.

“Sorry! I’m almost done. I’ll be right down.”

Bisola rolled her eyes and entered the room.

“Let me help you.”

Sola stared at her sister in awe. Bisola looked a divine vision in a purple floor-length maxi dress and was easily the same height as Sola when she had her heels on.  Her sister never missed an opportunity to outshine her, and Sola kicked herself mentally for thinking today would be any different just because it was her big day.

“Thanks.” Sola handed over the brush and let her sister work her hair into a loose bun.


“I really don’t want to worry you.”

“Tell me jo.”

“Fine, Fine” sighing again, he rubbed his temples “I think I might be in a bit of trouble with the EFCC.”

“EFCC ke?” Mosun bolted upright “What happened?!”

“I’m not entirely sure, but it might have something to do with the bribe I’ve been giving customs officials to clear some of my goods.”

“That’s all?” Mosun laughed “I honestly don’t understand this country anymore. Don’t they have better things to do with their resources than disturb people trying to make money?”

“This is serious, Mosun. My career and reputation are at stake. I don’t know what to do.”

Mosun was quiet for a while “Have you spoken to Chief?”


A flickering light bulb struggled to cast its glim glow on the people in the dark room, and the stench of sweat, blood and urine made the already too small room hard to breathe in. David was bound to the one metal chair in the room, shivering, bleeding from every visible surface of his body, and visibly struggling to breathe. His eyes were blood red and mucus ran freely from his nostrils. A whip cracked against his back, and a feeble scream ripped itself out of his soul and through his mouth. “Please, stop.” His voice was a hoarse whisper, as he glanced up at inspector Tunji “Ah oga, please, please, I confess. Na me. Na me o. Please, please, Na me do am o. Abeg please oga.”

Tunji smirked and signaled to the other two policemen in the room. “Good. Take him back to the cell.”




Written by Coco – @CeceNoStockings and  Uche – – @Afreaque_  .





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