Well damn.

Would you confess to your partner if you cheated?

There’s the stand that says, ‘why cheat if you aren’t willing to be in a committed relationship’? If you feel as though you want to cheat, then you should get out before you actually do.

In other circumstances, the guilt is so strong that it compels one to tell and let it go.

In other situations, sometimes others think that telling their spouse would be hurting them, and so go by the saying that ‘what they don’t know won’t kill them’.

There are other people who would just up and leave and realize that the cheating came as a result that they were just not into the person in the first place.

And yet sometimes, it may be a red flag that there are elements missing in the relationship such as trust and communication; which need to be addressed.

Cheating comes with many consequences, and yet here in Nairobi, people treat cheating as though it were a normal thing like eating chicken at Galitos. Cheating is a form of disrespect to the relationship and should be treated as though.

In ‘Sex anad the City’, Steve cheated on Miranda and Miranda left him. They had been having bedroom issues. Steve wanted more sex. Miranda wanted none. Steve cheated on her. Miranda left him. Steve completely apologized to his wife. And Miranda took him back.

There’s also the issue of whether you could handle it if your spouse told you that they were cheating. Would you brawl out? Look for the home-breaker that just wrecked your relationship or would you mum and leave?

Because generally, people don’t want to know that they’re being cheated on. They’d rather stay in a broken relationship than work on themselves with their partners.

I was once cheated on and I was a mess. To make it worse, the guy didn’t think that he needed to apologize for what he did. And he hurt me, so much so that I completely stayed out of relationships, only ‘dating’ and leaving a guy after I got bored with them.

That’s also another impact from cheating in relationships. The cheater doesn’t realize the amount of harm that they impact on the ‘cheatee’. That shit hurts like hell!

Also, staying in a relationship after being cheated on requires lots of forgiveness on both parties. Especially the one who’s been cheated on. They’ve got to really decide whether they want to be with the person and if they do, then they’d have to let go and move on.

Usually, the first question that comes to mind when someone cheats is, why?

For men, it’s usually about the sex, as seen from Steve’s case and for women, it’s usually emotive. Infidelity is devastating. But as all things devastating go, there’s a silver lining. What if you got a second chance? Would you work it out?

If you’re gonna accept it then you need to stay loyal. If your partner is willing to BE loyal, then you also need to STAY loyal.

If you’re not going to accept it, you’re better off alone and multi-dating than to be cheating on your otherwise loyal partner.

 

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