There’s perks to being single.
Like eating all you can without worrying about a boyfriend who complains about your fat stomach, or going out on a Wednesday night without having to check-in with someone or worse, ask for permission.
You don’t have to worry about watching football matches that bore you to hell or hanging out at the local bar in your gold flats next to loud drunk men.
Being single feels free because you’ve got lots of freedom to do what it is that you want to.
But there’s something about being single for too long that strips off your need to want to be with someone or have a longing for someone.
For instance, you go on a date and forget that the guy usually picks the tab, so you go ahead and offer to pay. Or you go out with a guy and he expects you to go Dutch, but you assume he’ll pay. It’s all sorts of confusion.
Let’s say you meet a guy and there’s chemistry between the two of you. You don’t want to spook him with the ‘relationship talks’ because you’re not even sure if you want to be in one on the first place.
Then there’s the sex part. Sparks are flying off the roof, but you don’t want to just have another fling. You’ve had enough of those so really, hookups have become somewhat of a bore.
There’s also your former friends who were single with you but are now in relationships and seem to be happy. You contemplate on their relationships – you know either one of them is cheating, or the other is compensating too hard to be in that relationship – and you prefer to stay single than compromise for a failure of a relationship. So you decide to keep off from them because you’re bat-shit bored of hearing their stories of their boos.
When you end up dating a nice guy, it becomes both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, you’re elated that finally you’ve met someone who can remind you that you’re a total babe. On the other hand, it gives you crazy anxiety cos you’re not sure if you want to date him in particular or not.
Weddings and couple dinners are the worst. The pressure to show up with a date is always on you, especially when you’re growing older and all your friends are either getting married or getting engaged. There’s less memories to make and you either have to drive yourself to the wedding or take an uber. It’s a horrible feeling really, especially when couples begin to act mushy and you have to look away and act like it doesn’t bother you.
But it’ll all pass. You may either want to date a tall guy who’s a little older and has more money, but end up actually dating a short guy who’s younger and has less money than you do. But he treats you like a queen, when the older guy treats you like an option.
Getting out of the single zone is a decision that should feel right, not one that you’re forced to make. It’s the process from singlehood-to-relationship that should really be embraced.